in my mind (i am a monster)
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: He was a monster, but he was okay with that. Psychological fic, with warnings for murder. Sort of.


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.**

 **Written for Quidditch League, Round 11.**

 _Holyhead Harpies, Beater 2._

 **Mandatory Prompt** \- Use 'An American Psycho' by Bret Easton Ellis as inspiration.

 **Optional Prompts** \- Pattern / A torn dress / fatal.

 **Also Written for Hogwarts Assignment 6, Media Studies 4** \- Write about a serial killer.

 **Word Count** \- 1743

 _Beta'd by Amber and Sam_

 **Authors Note** \- 'The City' is the London equivalent to the New York Stock Exchange, 'Wall Street.' Also, this is a Muggle!au.

* * *

 **in my mind (i am a monster)**

* * *

The ugly pattern of her dress was blinding in it's loudness, and Pius grimaced when she turned towards him, her hands waving airily in front of her. He supposed that she thought it made her look more impressive, but really, it just made her look insane.

"I had the most terrible vision," she exclaimed.

"That's splendid," he replied dryly, rudely pushing his way past her and deeper into the bar.

They would have to think about changing venues, if that was the kind of riff-raff they allowed into this one.

"You're late," Rabastan said, when Pius reached the table, taking his usual seat amongst the men.

"I was… accosted, by the 'psychic' at the front," Pius replied, making his disgust known.

Rodolphus and Evan laughed loudly, drawing attention from the tables around them. Pius rolled his eyes.

Why was he friends with these people?

A waiter arrived with drinks for them, placing them on the table carefully. Pius watched from the corner of his eye as Evan slyly moved his leg, tripping the waiter as he passed.

The young man ended sprawled on the floor, blood pouring from a cut on his cheek from where a glass had broken when he fell. Pius watched the blood stream and drip to the floor, mesmerised by the vivid red.

His attention was only drawn away when he heard the familiar drawl of Lucius Malfoy. Schooling his expression into one of disinterest, he looked up to meet cool grey eyes.

"Lucius," he greeted, nodding his head once. "It's… a surprise to see you. Weren't you supposed to be in Hong Kong, settling the lead account?"

Lucius smirked. "It's already done, Thicknesse. We don't _all_ barely scrape by, you know. Some of us are actually good at this game."

Biting the inside of his cheek, Pius clenched his fists beneath the table. "Congratulations," he forced out, through gritted teeth.

As the others congratulated Lucius, cheering and patting his shoulders and back, Pius focused on keeping his temper. It wouldn't do to antagonise these men, powerful as they were.

As much as Pius disliked most of them, as much as he _hated_ Lucius, it was always better to be amongst the power then against it.

Pius knew that much.

…

" _Close your eyes," he murmured softly._

 _The woman did as she was bid, and he silently crossed the carpeted floor until he was standing behind her. She flinched when the cold metal of his knife touched upon the bare skin of her shoulder._

 _She blinked her eyes open, whimpering when he ran the knife across her throat, just barely making contact._

" _What… what are you doing?" she asked, a tremor in her voice._

" _You're disgusting," Pius said softly. "You take money from men for sex, you're nothing but a waste of oxygen. I can help you with that."_

 _She tried to escape him, but he gripped tightly at her arm, holding her in place._

" _Stop it," she cried. "You're scaring me."_

 _He pushed the knife deeper against her skin, drawing blood this time. It trailed down her torso from her collarbone._

 _She had beautiful skin. Pius thought about the scars his knife would leave behind if he planned on her being alive when he left._

" _I'll do whatever you want," she offered. "Anything. I can please you, just, please, please don't do this."_

 _The begging was music to his ears, sweeter than any melody he'd heard on the radio._

" _The problem with that, my dear," he murmured against her ear, "is that I don't find you very interesting."_

 _His knife slid into her body as easy as it would butter._

…

Walking into 'The City' always made Pius feel good. He was proud of himself for making it so far in life, so far above the dregs of society that he witnessed often.

He'd used carefully applied concealer to his face, the expensive makeup superior enough to hide even the dark purple bags beneath his eyes.

Thankful that he only had the one meeting that day, he stepped into the elevator for the highest floor, feeling the flutter of pride when a woman already in the lift looked impressed.

Only those in power worked on the top floor.

"Is that… blood on your cuff, Thicknesse?" Mr Riddle asked, raising his eyebrow.

Pius looked down, noticing a tiny spot of red beside his gold cufflink. Memories of the woman who'd lost it threatened to fill his mind but he pushed them away.

The meeting had been brutal so far, and he really needed his head in the game. Mr Riddle was ruthless when it came to… well, everything. Pius had managed to go under the radar for most of the meeting, having met his targets for the month.

"I, uh, cut myself shaving," he replied, pulling the sleeve of his jacket down to cover it.

"Dear god, man, you're supposed to be one of the leading minds of the stock exchange! Do try and look like it in future, won't you?"

Before Pius could reply, Mr Riddle swept from the room, shaking his head. Pius clenched his fists hard enough to draw blood of his own.

He made sure none of it soaked into his white shirt.

He also made sure not to pay attention to the snickers barely silenced behind hands.

…

 _His obsession with blood was unhealthy. He knew that. He knew it wasn't something he should crave, but he couldn't help it._

 _The body beneath his hands was still warm, even in its stillness, and he rubbed the blood into the skin._

 _It was another prostitute, no loss to the world, and the way it made him feel… Pius thought she should be grateful to be so useful._

 _Her torn white dress lay off to the side, carelessly discarded after he'd sliced through it in his impatience to get to her skin._

 _This one hadn't begged, but she'd screamed the word 'monster' at him and it was just as pure in his mind. It still sounded just as sweet._

 _He was a monster, but he was okay with that._

…

They thought he was in the bathroom. Granted, he'd been in the bathroom, but upon his return, he'd heard his name and hidden instead of returning.

"Why on earth do you keep Thicknesse around?"

Pius scowled. What the hell was Malfoy doing there? Again?

"He's a resourceful little fucker," Rodolphus replied. "He's useful to have around."

"He's a weasel," Lucius replied dryly. "Useless and inept."

"Don't mince your words," Evan joked, laughing. "We know he doesn't really… fit in, but… well. There's something about him. I'd rather be on his good side. He looks a bit… insane."

Lucius snorted. "I'm quite sure he's aware of just how beneath _me_ he is. I just wondered if he knew how beneath everyone he is."

Pius waited for someone to defend him. The laughter was like a knife to the gut. He walked away from them, not bothering to turn when he heard his name called. He needed air, and he needed it immediately.

...

 _Lucius opened the door, surprised when he saw it was Pius awaiting him._

" _Thicknesse, what are you-"_

 _Pius pushed past him into the room._

" _Okay, come right in," Lucius said, rolling his eyes as he closed the door, following Pius inside. "What are you doing here?"_

" _What is your problem with me?" Pius demanded, his fury evident. "Why are you trying to have my friends push me out? Why are you trying to embarrass me at work? What is your problem?"_

 _Lucius smirked. "I… don't like you. I don't believe you deserve to know the men you call friends, and I don't think you should be allowed to work in the same street as me, let alone the same building. You're not worthy of it."_

 _He didn't know how the bottle came to be in his hand, but the blow he landed on Lucius' head knocked him to the floor. Pius hit him again, and again and again, until he was sure one of the blows had been fatal._

 _Until he was sure Lucius couldn't say anything else._

 _Until he was sure that the blood flowing in Lucius' veins would turn cold and congeal and Lucius would just_ stop.

...

Pius stared at the PI.

"What on earth have you come to me for? Lucius Malfoy is nothing to do with me."

The private investigator, who'd introduced himself as John Dawlish, nodded thoughtfully. "I heard the two of you had a… fraught relationship."

"I wouldn't say we had any relationship," Pius replied with a shrug. "I knew him because we awork on the same floor, but we weren't friends. I didn't even know he was missing."

"Narcissa Black, Lucius' girlfriend, hasn't seen him for almost a month."

"Well, I'd say speak to the others on the floor. They knew him better than me. Mr Riddle might know if he's away working on a specific client."

Pius returned his attention to the computer screen, ignoring the sweat running down his neck into the collar of his shirt.

He wasn't nervous. He wasn't.

He wasn't.

…

 _He heard on the grapevine that Narcissa had dismissed the private investigator for ineptitude and, admittedly, Pius breathed a sigh of relief. Not that he'd expected to be caught, of course, he was too smart for these imbeciles, but the detective had gotten closer than most._

 _Rodolphus later confided in him that he was sure Lucius was in America, living the big life with the millions he'd earned over the years, and that he knew about the panic at home._

 _Rabastan had agreed that Lucius would find the situation very amusing._

 _Pius nodded along, accepting and encouraging the views that left him in the clear, and when he was approached by the boss with the expectation that he'd take on the Hong Kong account that Lucius had so carelessly abandoned, Pius had accepted gracefully._

 _Using a keycard slipped to him in the bar downstairs, Pius let himself into the hotel room. The woman lay on the bed, displaying herself carefully, artfully, on top of the covers._

 _Pius smirked, and patted his trouser pocket, the weight of the knife bouncing against his thigh._

" _Beautiful."_

…

New York City was his favourite place on earth, and he was so glad he'd chosen to take the leap when the opportunity was offered.

Lucius smirked into the mirror. Wall Street was much better than The City.

* * *

 **Also Written for;**

Character Appreciation - 23. Drawl

Disney, D1 - "I had a most terrible vision." / "That's splendid."

Book Club - Greta - Monster / Walking out on someone / Scars

Showtime - 6. Beg

Attic - 13. Game

Ami's Audio - 13. An unhealthy obsession or habit.

Abby's Crafty Corner - 6. Knife.

Buttons - AU1. Serial Killer!au / O1. Knife / D1. "Stop it, you're scaring me."

Lyric Alley - 21. Whatever you want

Sophie's Shelf - 9. "I don't find you very interesting."

Em's Emporium - 4. "Close your eyes."

Lo's Lowdown - C9. Obsession.

Boyfriend - 6. Beautiful.

Costume Party. 101. White / 114. Knife

Gris Gris - Colour; Grey

Days of the Year - 35. Write about someone who feels like a monster.

Autumn - Vivid

Colour - Dark Purple

Elemental - Flutter

Ravenclaw - Resourceful

Star Chart - Ursids Meteor Shower - Theme; Murder.


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